i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
