If that was your dad, he is hot
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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