it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
