Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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