i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
