on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything