Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.