I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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