I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Randomize
