Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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