Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize