Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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