I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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