Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
