Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
