considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
