That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
