I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
