Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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