It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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