I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
