he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
