i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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