I need help removing her.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
