Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
