People in love make me want to vomit
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
