Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
