so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
