This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
