someone get that fucking seahorse.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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