Have you finally orgasmed yet?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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