I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
