Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
