Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
