dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
