Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
