hotel room ftw
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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