Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
