You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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