Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Someone shattered a urinal.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
