Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
