I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
