My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
