FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize