So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
