It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
