i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
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