dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
