ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
