I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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