Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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