Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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