You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
