There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
