I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
