she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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