hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
