it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
