she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
