I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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